I do not know what to tell. I have a lot of thoughts in my mind but I don’t know how to speak. There’s a lot that has been going on but what’s happening is redundant. There’s no progress. These are the sleepless tiring nights.
The thoughts are inside of you. Your brain is processing and you think of everything about your life. Friends, family, love, studies, dreams and everything in your life. You think of the future. What will it bring you? You think of the past. What it brought you. You think of today, the present. What does it bring you? You are lying on your bed. Upset. Empty. What should I do to be happy? You question it. But the real question in life is, what really makes you happy? And at this certain point of time, you are clueless and you do not know yourself anymore. You lose interest in everything. You are tired but you can’t sleep. You close your eyes and all you see is emptiness in the dark. Resting has become a struggle for you. You work so hard in order to survive. And after that, the next morning, you wake up. Wishing to go back to sleep. Because there’s nothing to look forward to for that day. But you have to do things you do not want to. Just because you have to. With no apparent reason. You have to. You meet people along your way, some are happy, some aren’t. And you belong to those who are indescribable. You meet your friends, the same way. You talk, yet you still don’t speak. You pretend. You hide. You give what is acceptable. But the truth is, you’re not fine. You cannot open up, because you think no one will understand. No one can help you so there’s no point but just a waste. No one cannot destroy you anymore. Because you have destroyed yourself already. In class, you look deep, creating events on your mind you know will never happen. It makes you happy, because you think about you being happy and at the same time, it makes you sad, knowing that it’s not reality and you truly know it won’t even happen in real life. You are disturbed. You cannot focus on everything. You are distracted. It seems like your life has its normal routine. But deep inside it, there’s a struggle going on. It’s like, living a day is a daily struggle for you. You do not know what’s the main problem but all you know is that, something makes you sad and that you can’t be happy that’s why you’re sad. You cannot even figure out what’s your happiness. All these things, it’s scary. It really is.–
written by: Ren Abegail Galvan
inspiration from tumblr